One Paragraph Review: The Brave One

Right up front I have to state that I didn't watch this movie closely. But if you watch The Brave One I sincerely doubt you'll watch it closely, either. It's an awful movie. Maybe they were trying to shock me, or play with my emotions, but I never got sucked or suckered in. Just the opposite. I was, more or less, repulsed by Jodi Foster's character. The ending was especially ridiculous and laughable. Such a shame from a great director and a great actress.

One Paragraph Review: The Brave One

I'm pretty sure that this movie was written just so that Jodi Foster could give the audience "the look" for 2 hours. Yes, I'm referring to that on-the-verge-of-tears, there's-so-much-going-on-in-my-head-I-can't-even-process, I'm-smarter-than-you-though-so-it's-all-under-control look that only Jodi Foster can do. Really, I don't think this movie had any point other than that. To spare you the time, here are some images of the look:

One Paragraph Review: Burn After Reading

In Burn After Reading, people with a variety of social defects and emotional disturbances make insane decisions and generally act unbelievably. Whereas this sounds like just another inane episode of The Hills, the Coehn brothers do here what they did so well with The Big Lebowski, and that is show you all manners of absurdism in a downright hilarious fashion. Everything about this movie is absurd: the individual characters, their decisions and actions, the flow of events within the movie, the random little shit (like that hilarious contraption) and even who lives and who dies - and it's all fucking hilarious. The acting is also superb across the board. Finally, this movie has the funniest, best final scene of a movie I've ever seen - I left the theater with my face hurting and tears in my eyes. Most people won't like it, but those who do will probably love it.

One Paragraph Review: Bound

Folks, this one's easy: Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon kiss and touch each other through a couple of great nude love scenes, then a competent and suspenseful thriller ensues for about an hour and a half involving lots of shooting and great acting. Heres the kicker: despite an awesome lesbian love scene between two beautiful women, Joe Pantoliano still manages to steal the film with his riveting performance.

One Paragraph Review: Lone Star

I had never even heard of this movie before, so I really can't explain why I ended up watching it one weekend day while flipping through the HD channels. Luckily I caught it right at the beginning and before long I found myself pleasantly very surprised by this film. It did a nice job of telling several separate and interesting stories while unobtrusively sliding in flashbacks to add depth to the characters. But beyond the competent filmmaking, what struck me the most was the film's surprising emotional weight. Maybe I had low expectations for some reason, but the actors - each individually very strong - delivered moments of brutal honesty and real power that I didn't expect. If you happen to come across this in your Netflix queue or while channel surfing, don't pass it up.

MS Paint Review: 88 Minutes

One Paragrapgh Review: 88 Minutes

88 Minutes tells the story of a forensic psychologist, played by Al Pacino, who is taunted by a serial killer. The serial killer, known as the Seattle Slayer, calls Pacino and tells him he has (you guessed it?) 88 minutes to live. The following is a series of action sequences and allegedly suspenseful who-dun-it scenarios. Basically, the thing felt like an extended episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. The movie was moderately gruesome at times, in addition to being pretty poorly acted. This movie wasn't as terrible as being the victim of a serial killer known as the Seattle Slayer, but it sure wasn't a good movie either.

One Paragraph Review: Burn After Reading

I must admit, I didn't really find myself laughing during this movie. But as the movie went on, or should I say as the absurdity increased, I started to laugh a little. Slowly I laughed harder. By the end of the movie I was rolling in my chair and fighting back the tears. I could try and describe the plot, the characters, what happens, but that's really beside the point. And beyond the power of the English language. The whole thing is absurd and sublime. If you're a fan of Cohen Brothers movies, especially Cohen Brothers' humor, than you'll love Burn After Reading. If you're not a fan, well then I guess you have other problems.