One Paragraph Review: The Kids Are All Right

I loathe touchy-feely dramas that label themselves as comedy. Nothing about this movie said comedy! Everything about this movie screamed "same old drama, lesbian twist." Same old story of a family going through a turning point or tumultuous time, except this family happened have two women at its head. In fact, why did they call it "The kids" at all? It really had little to do with the kids except as plot devices. Can you tell I think this film was misrepresented? Note: just because I think it was misrepresented doesn't mean I think it was bad. But you definitely have to like touchy-feeling dramas sprinkled with cry-fest moments to enjoy it.

One Paragraph Review: Live Free or Die Hard

Bruce Willis rocks! Bruce Willis rocks when he acts like an overprotective father! Bruce Willis rocks when he evades French mercenaries who can understand English but can't speak it! Bruce Willis rocks when he defies gravity to take down a helicopter with a car! Bruce Willis rocks when he fights ninja chicks! Bruce Willis rocks when he's all bloodied up! Bruce Willis rocks when he takes on a fighter jet! Bruce Willis rocks when he takes a bullet to kill a guy!.....Are you sensing the main point of this movie yet?

One Paragraph Review: The King of Kong

This is your pretty basic low-budget documentary that tells an interesting story about an interesting event. The main characters are two guys trying to compete for the world record in Donkey Kong. The characters take themselves, and the competition, way too seriously leading to some extremely funny moments. Funny for the audience, I should say. The documentary is well put together, and the story is compelling enough to keep my attention. Overall, I recommend it.

MS Paint Review: Transformers

One Paragraph Review: Stick It

Yes, this was your typical teenage girl flick. Pick your average girl activity, pick some stereotypical girl characters, throw them in a pot, film, and have a straight to DVD movie. However, this did have two mini-gems. First, the lead actress, Missy Peregrym, was actually really good and played the role well. Second, the gymnastics was actually really good. I'm of the feeling that if your going to drag me through 90 minutes of teenage stereotypes, at least show me some good dancing and gymnastics. So many of these kinds of movies don't succeed in this area (I know I'm picky about this since I dance) but this one actually did!

One Paragraph Review: Step Brothers

This movie was much more enjoyable than I expected it to be. As opposed to Talladega Nights, where Will Ferrell was the star and John C. Reilly was a supporting character, this film was more balanced between the two. This balanced partnership certainly worked for me, I thought there were some seriously hilarious moments especially as someone who has step siblings. It was particularly fun to see scenes that totally could have been my step brothers at age ten and eleven, but played out with two 40 year olds. I have to say though, it was Mary Steenburgen who stole the show for me. I thought she did a wonderful job and I loved her character.

One Paragraph Review: Burn After Reading

I have to say this movie was a let down for me. I generally like Coen Brother's films, and I at least appreciate the humor even if I don't laugh out loud. But this movie just didn't do it for me. As the absurdity of the situation grew, I got more and more detached from the plot. I guess my tolerance for watching stupid people do stupid things on film has declined with age.

One Paragraph Review: Taken

I don't have much insight about this movie. If you enjoy a good action movie or if you enjoy watching someone kick bad guys' behinds for two hours, then this is pretty much the ideal film. Liam Neeson rocks the screen for two hours, totally keeping you on the edge of your seat and your body temperature up by about 2 degrees. What more can you ask for from a movie watching experience? I loved it!

One Paragraph Review: Rescue Dawn

I have one complaint about this film, in which Christian Bale portrays the true story of a fighter pilot shot down and captured in Laos during the Vietnam War, and it is a big one. This film had awful pacing and plot development. They only spend about three minutes developing the character, which is not really enough time to get you sucked in or even to get you to like the guy. Then there are two grueling and slow-moving hours detailing his time in prison camp. Then there is about fifteen minutes set aside for his escape and eventual rescue. In sum, I wasn't drawn into the character, I sat through two boring hours, and then I didn't even get to fully appreciate or enjoy his eventual rescue. As much as I love Christian Bale, and appreciate his performance in this movie, I just cannot recommend it.

One Paragraph Review: Milk

Forgive me now, but this is going to be a long paragraph. 2008 was not a great movie-going year for me. I rarely got myself to a theater to view a new film. But choosing to spend time during my precious few days in San Francisco seeing "Milk" at the Castro Theater was an amazing movie-going experience. I was expecting the experience to be cool--after all I'm seeing the movie in the freaking neighborhood where it all took place. But I was not expecting to enjoy the film as much as I did. This movie has it all: stellar acting, incredible writing, wonderful pacing. It was one of the best memoir-type films I have ever seen, and was a great tribute to Harvey Milk and to the LGBT community that has fought so hard for equality. Speaking of that fight...I of course expected I'd be in tears at the end of the movie due to the inevitable tragic ending, but I was not expecting to be quite so sad and disheartened after viewing this. A good chunk of the plot line centers around Milk and his colleagues fighting CA Proposition 6 which would have banned gays and lesbians, and even their supporters, from working in public schools. Given the recent and very disappointing victory of CA Proposition 8 banning gay marriage, for me the takeaway point from the movie was that 30 years after Milk's time, the LGBT community and its allies still have a lot of fight to go.

One Paragraph Review: The Brave One

I'm pretty sure that this movie was written just so that Jodi Foster could give the audience "the look" for 2 hours. Yes, I'm referring to that on-the-verge-of-tears, there's-so-much-going-on-in-my-head-I-can't-even-process, I'm-smarter-than-you-though-so-it's-all-under-control look that only Jodi Foster can do. Really, I don't think this movie had any point other than that. To spare you the time, here are some images of the look:

MS Paint Review: 88 Minutes

MS Paint Review: Into the Wild

One Pargraph Review: Bobby

Unlike Russ, I came into this movie with high expectations. It seemed like a great cast and a great historical event to examine through film. Also, with all the interwoven plot lines I expected to enjoy the Altman-esk quality. Well, I did enjoy the interwoven plots, but this film was no Altman. It was so overly dramatic it was almost unbearable. I got so tired of the monologues that about half way through the movie I wanted to hit the fast forward button. Given my respect for Robert Kennedy, I felt myself cruel every time I thought "just get to the assassination already!"

One Paragraph Review: Eastern Promises

I recently saw this movie for the 2nd time and my enjoyment of it grew. It has an intriguing story line, is very well directed and incredibly well acted. My only complaint is that I had to cover my eyes a few times. Oh and I totally predicted part of the ending. Props to me!

Second Time Review: WALL*E

For me one of the marks of a truly good movie is when you can watch it over and over again without getting bored. Pixar films never disappoint in this category and WALL*E lived up to this standard as well. I saw WALL*E twice in the theater within a week, and both times I loved it. A lot of people complain that the plot, tone, feel, and just about everything changes between the first and second half of the film. But for me, this was appealing. I loved both parts of the movie and the very unique and touching story that occurs throughout its entirety.

One Paragraph Review: Beowulf

I like movies based on comic books, such as Spider-Man, X-Men, and Batman. I like movies based on graphic novels such as 300, and V for Vendetta. But I guess I don't like movies based on epic poems, because I did not like this movie. I understand the appeal of reinterpreting the story and turning Beowulf into a flawed character instead of a hero. But if you are going to do that, then why use the animated motion capture film technique that they did? I don't think the screenplay and the film technique meshed.

Haiku Review: Charlie Wilson's War

Wonderful movie
Sorkin does not disappoint
So fun, so funny

One Paragraph Review: The Kite Runner

Trying to review this movie leads me to pose a question: what criteria do you use when judging a movie's interpretation of a book? As someone who read and enjoyed the book The Kite Runner, I don't know how well I can assess this movie. I usually judge based on two criteria. First, if it is actually a good movie, and second, if it honors the general themes of the book. Well, the movie Kite Runner met both of those criteria. I thought it was a well done film and did capture the themes and overall emotional state of the book. But then again, the movie wasn't really exciting to me because I knew what was going to happen. I wonder what people who haven't read the book thought of the movie...

One Paragraph Review: Michael Clayton

This movie just did not live up to the hype for me. Sure, there were some stellar performances. But I don't think that makes up for such a lackluster and unfinished plot. I was not gripped at all by the story, partially because I just didn't think it was that well-told and partially because they give away one of the most exciting moments in the first three minutes of the film. Even though this movie had environmental health and scientific integrity elements to it, topics I care deeply about, I wasn't that into it. Am I missing something?