One Paragraph Review: Battle Planet

A good low-budget science fiction "b-movie" should accept the fact that the special effects will be lacking and the acting might suck, so instead focus on telling an interesting or unique story. So, in the spirit of "low-budget science fiction b-movies," I could find it in appropriate context to give Battle Planet a free pass for dialogue that makes your eyes roll, acting that makes you look away and special effects that make you laugh out loud; because I would then go on to say that it did something either unique or interesting to provide entertainment or interest. Unfortunately, at no point in this two hour blackhole does it ever approach anything worth a damn. It's completely conservative, boring, incoherent and stupid. In fact, this movie's very existence is a monument to our society's excess and waste. It's amazing only in how totally unremarkable it is and how it leaves me asking, "How does this kind of shit ever even get made?"