One Paragraph Review: Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

Ok, so in RandomRuralville, Colorado, Ricky is a down on his luck nice guy who has a thing for the town hot blonde girl Jesse, but Jesse is now dating a douchebag named Dale. Fortunately for Ricky, Jesse finds being a boring loser pizza delivery guy to be an aphrodesiac, so she really actually likes Ricky. Ricky's brother Dallas has just returned from doing minor time in jail for breaking and entering, and they don't get along very well (but have a mutual bro-respect going on). Angry boyfriend Dale jumps Ricky, beats him up, and throws his keys down the sewage drain, which sucks. BUT, Jesse eventually dumps Dale, which rocks, and then inexplicably tells Ricky that they should meet up at the town swimming pool after hours for some naughty time, which rocks even MORE. So they meet up in the swimming pool, Jesse takes her clothes off, and things start to get awesome --- wait wait WHERE ARE THE ALIENS AND PREDATORS?!!?