One Paragraph Review: WALL*E

WALL*E is a clever, cute, funny and totally excellent movie from a studio that that consistently produces excellent films. WALL*E does so many things right that reviewing it really feels like a futile waste of effort. It will appeal to virtually everybody except only the most cantankerous, "too cool for this and that" curmudgeons (who find reasons not to like everything). Put down the weight of your life for two hours and prepare to be surprisingly moved by two animated robots with virtually no spoken lines.

One Paragraph Review: WALL*E

If you ever sift through the archives of Starlight Reviews you might think the write-ups on Pixar movies all look the same. I swear it's not our fault. These guys produce great stuff and Wall*E is no exception. Wall*E tells the (very original) story of the last robot on a desolate and ecologically-maligned planet Earth. Wall*E meets another robot and falls in love. A bunch of other stuff happens, but I'm not going to go into it because you just go see the movie. The jokes were supreme and animation well-crafted and interesting. I was pleasantly surprised at how sci-fi the movie was. Pixar keeps its golden streak alive by hitting another one out of the park. Really, the thing was just brilliant. A masterpiece of a story.

One Paragraph Review: Michael Clayton

If someone ever tries to tell you that George Clooney isn't actually that good of an actor just staple the DVD of Michael Clayton to that person's face. He's better than good in this movie: he's downright badass. The movie, a suspense tale about a "fixer" at a big New York law firm, smartly avoids what bad suspense movies do by telling the viewer too much. It leaves just enough story-line and dialogue out to leave your mind racing. The excellent music also puts you right in the mood. And no review should exclude the final six minutes of the film. Wow. Clooney pretty much gives you the cinematic definition of an ass-kicking.

One Paragraph Review: Sketches of Frank Gehry

Sketches of Frank Gehry is an excellent argument for why Netflix exists. And that's how I saw this documentary, made by Sidney Pollack, about the architect Frank Gehry. Really, the documentary is basically Pollack hanging out with Gehry in Los Angeles for a few days. They discuss his favorite and famous projects (and show them) and discuss his creative process and life story. Not really all that exciting, but maybe you're fascinated by architecture and don't get out enough. Thank you, Netflix and US Postal Service.

One Paragraph Review: Hancock

Hancock may be the worst movie I've seen in a year or two. It was abysmal. While it starts from an interesting premise, it quickly abandons it to focus on something completely different. Fifteen minutes later it drops that second premise, and then fifteen minutes after that it drops the third premise. This continues for the entire movie. What probably frustrates me most was the date I saw this movie: the 4th of July. It is my God-given American right to see an action-packed American movie on America's birthday staring Will Smith. Specifically, Will Smith kicking ass. Ok, so it can't always be aliens. But he's a superhero, right? The movie was maddeningly stupid. If you see it you might feel like Will Smith kicked your ass. At least, your wallet's ass.

One Paragraph Review: Zathura

Totally unremarkable, Zathura appears to be fully aware of it's own banality. The plot is boring and predictable, the directing is robotic, special effects are corny and cheap, the script is ho-hum, the dialog is blah - in fact, it's surprising that cast actually does a good job with what it's given. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised at the lack of originality given that the movie is basically a carbon copy of Jumanji, but set in space. Really, this is just a bland movie, so unless the kids are picking the movie or you were fanatically obsessed with Jumanji for some reason, don't go out of your way to see this.

One Paragraph Review: Bobby

I came into this movie with pretty low expectations. First-time director — who is normally an actor — combined with a cast of thousands didn't exactly grab my attention. Yet, I didn't think Bobby was all that terrible. It wasn't a particularly good movie from a number of perspectives. The acting was tepid, most of the time. Most of the stories weren't interesting. At times however, especially the end, the scenes are compelling and even a bit moving. I get what the director, Emilio Estevez, was trying to do. Unfortunately though he's not yet Robert Altman. Gosford Park, Bobby is not. But it's not a bad start.

One Paragraph Review: Charlie Wilson's War

I confess to two things before reviewing this movie: I love Sorkin's writing and have no authority whatsoever to evaluate this movie's historical accuracy. Having said that, I immensely enjoyed this movie. Sorkin's unique talent for character crafting is truly on display here - Charlie Wilson is at once driven and carefree, hilarious and reserved, and simple but clever. Tom Hanks is flawless in bringing this walking contradiction to life, reminding us all again why he really is one of the great actors of his generation. The story flows forward nicely with Phillip Seymour Hoffman doing an especially great job as a grumpy CIA operative. Refreshingly absent from Sorkin's script are moments where he channels his politics through his characters - nobody goes off on a diatribe about gun control or recites a position paper on flag burning. Mike Nichols brings it all together, including a powerful ending that leaves the failures of Charlie Wilson's success resonating with the audience.

One Paragraph Review: The Spiderwick Chronicles

Another movie I saw on a plane, another movie with an actress I've got a thing for. Mary-Louise Parker does a good, if restrained, job in a movie that is entertaining but ultimately very ordinary. The Spiderwick Chronicles moves very quickly, never getting bogged down with the backstory of the main characters, the details of the fantasy world, or the motivations of it's characters. This is at once great for the kids and not-so-great for those who might want to know more, as it leaves a lot unexplained and a bit untidy. Still, scene-to-scene the movie kept my interest and the very young actors do a surprisingly well with their roles. Entertaining, but probably not worth looking for if you missed it.

One Paragraph Review: Fool's Gold

I admit to a mild infatuation with Kate Hudson ever since I saw her in Almost Famous. In fact, I haven't seen much of her since Almost Famous. Unfortunately for anybody watching the film, Fool's Gold is idiotic. It's a senseless, vapid story which looks like there wasn't even a director involved. Thats actually not a problem in this film because it appears to exist soley to provide a platform on which to trumpet the physical beauty of the leading roles: Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson. Luckily for me, Kate Hudson is still super hot. As for the story itself: theres treasure, beautiful Caucasian good guys and comically-inept African-American bad guys look for treasure, righteous good guys fight greedy bad guys, good guys win, pretty people kiss each other. Trust me, theres nothing here - I saw this movie on a plane and even if my plane had exploded, this movie still would probably have been the low point of the flight.