One Paragraph Review: We Are Marshall

Maybe I just had really low expectations, but I actually enjoyed this movie. It was pretty much on par with other inspiring-heart warming-young-team-sport type movies (i.e. Remember the Titans, Coach Carter, etc.), but this was a beautiful movie. And I mean beautiful in the sense that the cinematography was awesome. There were some quality football action sequences, camera shots, and scene transitions. When I saw Matthew Fox was in the cast, my first thought was "oh they cast him because he can cry on cue." I mean, have you ever watched Lost? You could get drunk playing a drinking game where you took a shot every time he cries. And boy was my first thought right! But overall, I thought the movie was a respectful tribute to Marshall and to the town of Huntington, with only being a dab cheesy at times.

One Paragraph Review: Amazing Grace

The story of William Wilberforce and his attempts to abolish the slave trade in England is a story worth telling. Even though the lead actor is most known for his role in Fantastic Four, one of the crappiest movies, the acting was great. But despite the compelling story and wonderful cast, the movie was just okay. I just didn't think the movie was as moving as the story deserved.

One Paragraph Review: The Squid and the Whale

What a painful movie. I mean, I like a good divorce story every once in a while. But I do not like watching four awful, mean people doing awful, mean things to each other and everyone else for an hour and a half.

One Paragraph Review: Spider-Man 3

Disclosure up front: I'm a fan of Spider-Man. Especially the late 90s animated series. And I've been a fan of the recent movie incarnations, but I have to admit the third film sort-of let me down. I've always appreciated how well the Spider-Man movies dealt with so many moving parts. Lots of characters with layers of background and a different story for each villain and side character. Lots of plot twists and action sequences. Most of Spidey 3 was basically in line with the quality of the first and second movie, but it really fell off at the end. It seems as if the producers kind of got tired of their material and ended the last 15 minutes or so on auto-pilot. The movie wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either.

One Paragraph Review: The Simpsons Movie

The Simpsons Movie really was just that. The Simpsons. Movie. It was basically a 75-minute version of a large episode, centered around the Simpsons family and involving something having to do with nuclear waste or pollution or something. I really don't remember. Not really being a viewer of the Simpsons — yes, I know, I'm lame — I was pleasantly surprised at the humor, but if you're not a fan of the show than the movie isn't really for you.

One Paragraph Review: Offside

There are three things I loved about this movie. First, the plot is a fascinating and touching story that serves as a microcosm for the perils women face in Iran. Second, the film really drew me in because it parallels real time and includes scenes actually filmed during the 2005 Iran v. Bahrain World Cup qualifying match. Third, it was interesting to watch the women who were arrested breaking the law to attend the match try to win over their male guards. A few of the characters were a bit over the top, but I would highly recommend this film.

One Paragraph Review: This is England

Not a well known film but an absolutely supurb one. I guess I didn't expect much coming in. The film really impressed me. The acting was astounding and really sucked me in. Fantastic jobs from the main actor, a young man by the name of Thomas Turgoose, with great acting additionally by two "gents" named Andrew Shim and Stephen Graham. Most Americans know Graham as the unassuming and lighthearted sidekick Tommy from Snatch. But wow he blow me away. The film has some credible if basic points to make, and makes them in an interesting way. If you've got the time, I really recommend This is England.

One Paragraph Review: SiCKO

I found SiCKO to be a pretty thorough indictment of the health care system in the United States. We need to fix it and other countries spend more money and get better, even idealistic, health care treatment. Some of the stories Moore presents in the film are absolutely heart-breaking. Others drive you to outrage and contempt for anyone, politicans especially, who profit and prop up unfair and unkind treatment. Beyond that, I found the editing supurb and there was even room for some humorous bits. And not to dwell on the politics too much but I did find the last 15 minutes or so of the movies absolutely intolerable. Moore's grand salute to Cuba and its "system" was completely over the top and made a valiant but unsuccessful attempt to undermine the movie's key premise: health care in this country, even for those who have it, simply does not work properly.

One Paragraph Review: Transformers

My Lord, how desperately did this movie want to be Independence Day? In addition to attempting (and failing) to re-create the great ID4, Transformers injected an annoying and painful theme of teen-angst and humor throughout its lengthy runtime. The entire thing was atrocious. I have little doubt Transformers will stand as the worst movie of 2007. Why is this? Because anyone can make a bad movie about anything — see below for review of Evan Almighty — but it takes someone unique to take a brand as revered and incredible as The Transformers and reduce it to a sub-B-movie with a three hundred million dollar budget. Though, the action scenes were pretty sweet.

One Paragraph Review: Evan Almighty

This was a really bad movie. In addition to being not funny, the script sounded like it had been written by 150 different writers. Except the writers couldn't speak with one another while working on the script. The entire movie, really, felt cobbled together and slapdash and ill-advised. Don't see this movie. It was really bad.

One Paragraph Review: The Lookout

I had low expectations for this movie and it basically met those low expectations. OK performances all around, including from Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Jeff Daniels. No real plot twists but it was a good movie to sort-of sit through, though the movie had no ending to speak of. If you have TNT or TBS or FX, break your leg and have an afternoon to kill I suspect you'll enjoy this movie.