One Paragraph Review: Avatar

Avatar IMAX is the most amazing ('amazing'adjective: "inspiring awe or wonder") film I've ever seen, while being almost as dumb as it is amazing. There is really so much to say about Avatar that it's impossible to summarize my thoughts in just a few sentences. It's like a Franken-film, existing entirely as glued together pieces of already made movies, as if Cameron had to avoid originality because he lost a bet or something. Every character is a cliche, without exception. The plot is Dune-but-kinda-different. It's violent but rarely too violent. There's a 'love story,' but no romance or love or sex. There's cursing, but no chance of offending even the most prudish. There's a beautiful planet and ecosystem, but you aren't given any details. The characters have some dialog, but no conversations ever take place. It's like "Epic Film Stew", but with the eccentricities boiled away and some psychotropic drugs added in so that you don't notice the core is actually pretty bland. Fortunately, the drugs are epic - you've seen it all before, it's just never caught your imagination like this, or been so perfectly assembled. In fact, if you told me that I didn't actually see a new film called "Avatar," but had instead taken acid and watched Ferngully, I would probably believe you. Then, I would probably go get some more acid and do it all over again, because when I wasn't distracted by the weak story or characters, my heart was nearly bursting out of my chest. It's probably worth your money and time.