One Paragraph Review: The Prestige

I've only just seen this film - nearly 4 years after it's release - and have been left wondering why the hell I waited so long. This movie has all the great elements of a top notch Christopher Nolan film: fantastic actors, clever and engaging plot, great story telling and absolutely killer narrative. The narrative structure of the film deserves special attention, tackling an approach that only a great director and screenwriter could make happen. I was even pleasantly surprised that the film asked some deep, thematic questions that had me thinking after the film was over. All around excellent, I can't imagine anybody I wouldn't recommend this to.

One Paragraph Review: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

This is the worst movie I've seen in a long time. Its so stupid that all you can do is wonder why people bother to make movies if they're going to put such little effort into it. Everybody outside of the effects team that was involved in this movie really just shat the bed, with special finger pointing going to Jessica Alba, who painfully reminds us all of how totally devoid of acting skills or ability she truly is. Everything is so childish and banal that it's impossible to care about anything happening, so honestly, don't see this; go light your feet on fire or something instead.

One Paragraph Review: Moon

Moon falls into that under appreciated category of films which are focused and completely uninterested in appealing to the broadest audience possible. Moon aptly combines the ambiance of 2001: Space Odyssey with the slow, brooding pace of Solaris and the isolation of Cast Away. Sam Rockwell delivers one of the most mezmerizing performances I've seen in years as the film slowly but thoughtfully prods at a themes of isolation, identity, servitude and half a dozen others. It's interesting, clever, and immacualtely constructed even though, to some of people, it will probably move a bit too slowly.

Second Time Review: Batman Begins

The first time I saw Batman Begins, I immediately declared it the best 'comic book movie,' and when I saw The Dark Night, I was forced to slide Batman Begins down to the second best 'comic book movie' ever. Yesterday Isaw Batman Begins again, and it suddenly dawned on me that this new Christopher Nolan "Batman" franchise of films may be the definitive portrait of good versus evil in modern cinema. Now, hold on - I realize it's "just" a comic book at it's heart, but we're talking universal, deep themes about the meaning of real justice and what happens to those who persue it. Batman Begins gives birth to this franchise audaciously; tackling the epic themes that the previous Batman films couldn't take "a comic book" seriously enough to tackle, and does so with fucking Liam Neeson being a total badass as Ra's al Ghul. Amazing.

One Paragraph Review: Balls of Fury

I love playing ping pong, this is a silly movie all about ping pong. I have a well documented affinity for hot girls, and this movie has a super hot Asian girl in it. I have an equally well documented mancrush on Christopher Walken, and this movie has him as an eccentric sort-of-crazy Asian dictator guy! So, this film is gold, right? Let me tell you something: so cruel is this world that we live in, that people are allowed to combine Christopher Walken, hot asian girls and ping pong and still produce shitty movies. Pardon me while I go watch the music video for Weapon of Choice and drink-to-forget.

One Paragraph Review: Serenity

If you gave me a pot of gold and told me to go make a movie, I would return with Hot Fuzz. if you gave me a pot of gold and told me to make a sci-fi movie, I would return with Serenity. I love this movie that much. Really, there's just nothing worth changing or complaining about. The story is great. The acting is great. The action is great. The dialogue rocks. May best of all, the art direction supports what is great about this movie. Serenity doesn't try to be anything it isn't. It knows its place and just rules at it. This movie is not Nate Kaeding.

One Paragraph Review: Away We Go

This was a sweet and extremely heartfelt movie, and I liked it a lot. Away We Go tells the story of two soon-to-be parents just trying to figure out how this crazy world works. In some ways, this is a great "protagonist movie" -- and by that I mean the movie does a great job of connecting you with the two main characters. I sympathized with their "plight" and I identified with their adventure, despite the fact that I've never dealt with that situation. This move is also one that I probably wouldn't have been able to identify with just a few years ago. But that makes it no less relevant or interesting. Away We Go was also really fucking hilarious.

One Paragraph Review: The Hangover

What a clever idea for a film. Sure, it's basically a more serious version of "Dude, Where's My Car?" but it's tons of fun. Most of us have had the experience of trying to piece together a particularly out-of-control night of revelry and The Hangover does a hilarious job of showing us one of the most epic nights of debauchery ever. Everything is hilarious, from the subtle facial expressions of disbelief to the most insane of activities. I was particularly pleased that they completely refrained from showing what happened on the night in question, instead letting the narrative be set by the events of "the morning after." I only wish they hadn't revealed so much in the trailer, as some of this (the tiger, the baby, Mike Tyson, etc..) would have been excellent surprises.

One Paragraph Review: Avatar

Avatar IMAX is the most amazing ('amazing'adjective: "inspiring awe or wonder") film I've ever seen, while being almost as dumb as it is amazing. There is really so much to say about Avatar that it's impossible to summarize my thoughts in just a few sentences. It's like a Franken-film, existing entirely as glued together pieces of already made movies, as if Cameron had to avoid originality because he lost a bet or something. Every character is a cliche, without exception. The plot is Dune-but-kinda-different. It's violent but rarely too violent. There's a 'love story,' but no romance or love or sex. There's cursing, but no chance of offending even the most prudish. There's a beautiful planet and ecosystem, but you aren't given any details. The characters have some dialog, but no conversations ever take place. It's like "Epic Film Stew", but with the eccentricities boiled away and some psychotropic drugs added in so that you don't notice the core is actually pretty bland. Fortunately, the drugs are epic - you've seen it all before, it's just never caught your imagination like this, or been so perfectly assembled. In fact, if you told me that I didn't actually see a new film called "Avatar," but had instead taken acid and watched Ferngully, I would probably believe you. Then, I would probably go get some more acid and do it all over again, because when I wasn't distracted by the weak story or characters, my heart was nearly bursting out of my chest. It's probably worth your money and time.

One Paragraph Review: 21 Grams

I will be the first to admit that I really didn't understand this movie. At all. I didn't understand why the characters behaved the way they did. I didn't understand or sympathize with their actions. The three main characters seemed like completely depraved human beings. Yet my reaction is completely at odds with everyone else who sees this movie. Did I miss something? After seeing the movie, I went out and read several plot summaries. Yet I still don't feel like I understood why any of the characters made any of the decisions they did. The acting was jarring but I just did not connect. The yelling and crying and screaming all seemed warranted and justified, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you why. I don't say this to intentionally sound obtuse or curmudgeonly. Honestly, I don't. I had no idea what the hell this movie was about but you should still see it.